Achieving Our Goals: Reminders & Resources
Shannon Jackson
Dec 15, 2022
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Do you know those instances when life lessons are tucked within small inconspicuous moments? This is a story about one of mine, and the lessons I was reminded of are quite familiar.
Story Time
While visiting Cappadocia, Turkey, we toured
Chez Galip's ceramics shop. During a pottery demonstration, I watched the clay master in complete awe of the art form. In less than seven minutes he transformed a glob of clay into a beautiful vase.
Several thoughts sprinted through my mind.
- So therapeutic; so fun.
- He literally made this in under 10 minutes.
- I could learn how to do this.
- I wonder how much they’ll sell the vase for.
As I pondered these thoughts, rationale swooped in.
- So therapeutic, so fun.
- The art form? Yes, quite likely to be true. Having to demo pieces for visitors? Maybe, maybe not.
- He’s here doing a job. Even if he does find the art form therapeutic and fun, does he have the same enthusiasm for his other job responsibilities? We all know how work is... work.
- He literally made this in under 10 minutes.
- It has most likely taken him years to perfect his craft.
- Although the vase looked complete, it was only complete for that phase. Later in the tour, we learned that there were several other phases it had to go through before hitting the shelf... (Whew, comparing without even knowing all that's entailed.)
- I could learn how to do this.
- Probably so, but am I truly going to give the dedication that it takes to reach the level that I desire? What sacrifices would that require? For me, the answer is currently, overwhelmingly, no.
- I wonder how much they’ll sell the vase for.
- Most products don’t just fly off the shelves, it usually takes research, marketing, and trial/error to properly position products to sell.
The Lessons
Reflecting on this moment became symbolic of other times in my life when I wanted to jump from the “hard” thing to the seemingly easier, shinier, better one.
When we develop a goal, we typically envision the end result, the moments after the goal has been achieved. The goal and the end result can be synonymous, and what a glorious vision it is!
- Goal: Clean the Kitchen | Vision: Sparkling Clean Kitchen
- Goal: Cut the Grass | Vision: Well-Manicured Lawn
- Goal: Graduate from School | Vision: Diploma in Hand
- Goal: Start a Business | Vision: Successfully Operating Business
- Goal: Get out of Bed | Vision: Productive Adult
While it is important to keep the vision top of mind, in order to bring it to fruition, we not only have to embark on the execution phase, we also have to complete it. And oh do we know, that execution phase can be brutal!
The hurdles of the execution phase may at times try to rob us of the joy, passion, light, and desire that we had during the conception of the goal. The vision can start to become blurry or fade. Each time we encounter a hurdle during the execution phase, we may want to ditch the goal altogether. Other times, we slay several hurdles but there's that one that is trying to take us out.
Have you ever been in the execution phase of one goal and found yourself daydreaming about the vision of a brand-new goal? BAM, the spark is back, you're excited to once again be faced with that glorious vision. It looks, sounds, and feels so much better to dwell in that space versus in the trenches of your current execution phase. But we must stop and remember that each new goal also requires execution, those glorious visions will never come to be without it.
The execution phase indeed takes consistency, but there is a present in the presence of perseverance. That is where our vision realized, awaits.
Both inspiration and distraction can be found in those who have successfully made it through their execution phase. We observe them in awe, as I did the clay master, because at that point it looks effortless and easy. If inspiration is becoming a distraction, we have to refocus and remember that they too had their execution phase.
So here are the well-known lessons that I was reminded of, that I will remind you of, and that we will constantly have to remind each other and ourselves of:
- Anything we desire to become great at will take practice, patience, and time
- Do not chase the shiny object, do not let it distract you
- Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side, but we can't take a shortcut to get there
Mental Health Enters the Mix
Mental health challenges can present additional hurdles. I have attention deficit disorder (ADD) and it’s one of the many things that my therapist has helped me learn to work with (because hunny it definitely isn’t going anywhere).
This week in therapy, I was reminded to
use my tools. I was adamant about blaming my setbacks on my ADD but my therapist saw it differently. To her, my ADD wasn't the problem. The issue was the fact that I was
choosing not to use the tools in my arsenal to combat ADD. I thought about it and agreed.
There are countless times that I feel incredibly insulted to have to use my tools. Quite frankly, it feels dumb that I have to do these small little things over and over again to accomplish a task that I feel should be simple. But then I remember that I’m not the only one who has to take baby steps, James Clear wrote an entire book on it, Atomic Habits. I would dare to say it’s such a popular book because many others struggle with the concept too.
So as I encourage myself, I want to encourage you too. Do the small daily actions, when no one is looking, in front of others, when they seem dumb or challenging. It’s those things and doing them consistently that will bolster us through our execution phases. It’s the practice that people don’t see, consistently exercising the small steps and actions, that lead to the results that everyone champions, and better yet that lead us to achieve our goals.
The Tools
Here are the Tools that I utilize, and I've ranked them in order of importance which may differ for you. Some I've learned just by living, others from resources such as therapy. I hope these tools will prove beneficial to you too!
01. prayer
I am extremely spiritual and nothing in my life is right if I'm not in communication and connection with God. Prayer comes first and foremost and it happens throughout the day. I talk to God like He's my best friend, partner, supporter, provider, etc. because He is.
02. therapy
Therapy takes the number two spot on my list because, in times of weakness when I can't do any of the other things, therapy is my safe space. I can be honest, transparent, and vulnerable. Therapy gently guides me back to my tools as well as introduces others. It helps me reason and time and time again leads me to self-realization.
03. affirmations
There is power in our words and the things we tell ourselves. Speaking words of positivity over myself quiet the negative thoughts as well as my tendency to ruminate (rabbit hole thinking). Regardless of what others see in me, if I don't truly affirm myself, I leave the door wide open for distracting thoughts to walk right in.
04. STOP method
I mentioned ruminating, it's something that I do all of the time. The STOP method is a great tool, extremely simple, yet effective. It's an acronym that stands for:
- Stop. Take a moment to pause from whatever you are doing.
- Take a breath. Reconnect with your breath, and use it as an anchor to the present moment.
- Observe. Notice what is happening both inside and outside of you. What are you feeling, what are you doing?
- Proceed. Determine how to best proceed and solely focus on that.
This method helps you recenter yourself on what is in the present, what is actually true, and if you can, your immediate next step versus the myriad of additional thoughts which can cause overwhelm.
05. timer
I use this method in two different ways. The first is to get me in my flow and the second is to set boundaries.
Give a smirk if you feel that you work better under pressure. I surely do! When I have important tasks that must get completed, but I'm procrastinating to get started or finish, I utilize the timer to help jumpstart my productivity. Let's illustrate this with an example.
I need to write a speech, let's say for a wedding. It's a task that I know I'm more than capable of completing yet I'm struggling to get started, my thoughts are scattered, and I'm unfocused. I've sat at the computer for a couple of hours the past few days and don't have much to show for it. Insert my timer. I set my timer to 30 minutes to crank out at least a rough draft. For some reason seeing the clock tick helps me focus on the task at hand and pushes the overwhelming thoughts to the side. It also serves as a reward that once the timer is out, I can be done... The end is literally in sight. The closer my time is to run out, the more the words start flowing. Boom I'm in my flow. Sometimes I reach my flow at minute 15, other times I reach it at minute 29. But here's the thing, when you're using the timer to simply get in your flow, you don't have to stop just because the timer ran out. Once you've hit your flow you can actually cut the timer off or reset it. For those of us who procrastinate we've all said, in the final hour, "Wow, I'm really flowing now, if only I was here days/weeks earlier." Well, now we can be.
The second way I utilize the timer is to set boundaries. I set a specific amount of time to work on a task and then move on, regardless of if I've completed the task or not. My therapist pointed out a huge insight with when to use which method. For me, the boundary method should only be used for things that don't HAVE to be completed, and with that, I have to be very honest about what is a necessity vs. a desire. For instance, folding clothes, a desire not a necessity. In some ways, this is similar to the Pomodoro Technique.
06. nutrition, sleep & exercise
Although these are several tools, for me, they go hand in hand. It's my wellness regimen that only requires my commitment. But whew, that commitment is something I struggle to give. I'm ever striving to prioritize and make good decisions in all three of these areas.
When I was ranking my tools I originally placed these in the number 4 spot because if you asked me what's most important I'd certainly rank this higher. But the truth is utilizing methods 3-5 helps me do this even better.
07. organization
Keeping a clean work environment and home environment helps boost my mood, energy, and productivity. It's true for most of us. We've all heard of people going to retreats or vacations to write, create art, or get other forms of work done. When the environment is peaceful, clean, uncluttered, and beautiful, we often find inspiration and motivation. Organization provides some of these benefits. For me, this is another continuous work in progress.
Community Connection
I love y'all so much, and it feels absolutely beautiful to be able to connect with you in this way!
There are several topics that were vaguely mentioned in this post that I would love to eventually discuss in greater detail. Therapy is one for sure!
For now, I know that some of you can relate to this story and probably have great insight to add to the conversation. What other lessons come to mind? Do you have additional tools or resources to add?
Let's further the discussion in the comments. If you'd like to share but would prefer to remain anonymous, email Rajah and me at jacksons@jacksmakingithome.com.
The beautiful thing about the JMIH Community is that we are all here to learn and share with each other.
Love ya more than you know!
-S
